Why are we attracted to drama?

“Our Varied Behavior Adds to the Planet’s Well-Being… When you remember that nothing can come into your experience without your Vibrational invitation of it, then you do the simple work of paying attention to your own Vibrational offering, and you save yourself the enormous and impossible task of controlling the behaviour of others. When you remember that the varied behaviour of others adds to the balance and the Well-Being of your planet even if they offer behaviour that you do not approve of; and that you do not have to participate in the unwanted behaviour, and will not – unless you give your attention to it – you become more willing to allow others to live as they choose.

Excerpted from The Vortex on 8/31/09 Esther (Abraham and Jerry)

Do you ever find yourself literally thriving off the frustration and pain of others, and wonder to yourself, ‘how can this be?’ 

Drama is an undeniable part of our human experience and is addictive because it makes us feel productive and alive. We become empowered and the excitement of it makes us feel busy, responsible and involved. As with any emotional response, it influences the secretion of endorphins, those pain-suppressing, pleasure-inducing hormones that make our heart pump – it’s no wonder we can’t hold back…

Essentially conflict is drama and sometimes we are driven to find drama even if it doesn’t exist. When couples are in our care, it helps to tread carefully, especially when one partner is of sound mind. We need to be mindful that we may unintentionally promote and step into a conflict situation that has nothing to do with us, and the sad part about it is that the ‘entertainment’, oftentimes comes at the expense of someone else! 

There are some people who love drama so much that they will even make up lies to provide story fodder. They don’t care if these lies hurt others because drama is what matters the most. After all, it is the easiest way to propel yourself into the spotlight and get everyone’s attention?

In the care industry ‘drama’ is inevitable and more than often we are exposed to personalities that try to draw us into the fray and push for an opinion. Clients who are drama addicts find it frustrating when those around them do not get caught up in their low vibrational state especially when they are in full swing. As a consequence, accusations start to fly and tension builds. This addictive behaviour more than often leads to fights because ‘feeding off’  the disruption can help them forget about the truth of their own lives.

But with a compassionate heart, we start to realize this escape from reality, is only a coping mechanism to distract from the issue at hand. It usually only surfaces when their current circumstance is seemingly dismal and they desperately want to put the focus on themselves in a way to feel good. We need to understand that one of the best responses in this situation is to give the appearance of not actually ‘caring’…

I know this may sound harsh but even when the drama escalates and attempts to pull you in, you need to stand your ground and remain outside the fray. When you refuse to ‘play’ in the matrix of their world, their drama gets diffused, and the longer you stand in your truth, interestingly, the more you will be appreciated – a situation that serves both carers and ‘cared for’.

We all know that leading by example is best and if we can maintain our position outside the drama, in alignment with our true self, this neutral approach is reflected back to others and may influence a change in their behaviour. Always ask yourself ‘is there something productive I can do about the situation’ and listen to the intuitive response of your heart.

If you’re dealing with someone who throws tantrums in order to cultivate drama, tell the truth with as much love as you can, even though denial may be swept away in an awkward moment and everyone feels exposed. When they see that you will not fight back they will drop the routine.

In a couples job, it is equally important to support the person who is in the firing line, because it is common in relationships to project pain onto a partner when they are by no means the cause. Maybe a loved one provides a ‘trusted space’ where they feel safe to dig a little deeper into the landmine wounds of their soul, either consciously or unconsciously.

One could even take it a step further and consider their own response to the situation and why certain emotions arise when the drama unfolds – in other words, the unspoken information that is being triggered could be unprocessed pain that is being brought to the surface for healing. After all, we come into this world and tend to form relationships with those that have the ability to help us evolve…