To truly know yourself is the first and most important step in inner child work. Embrace your wounded inner child with love and compassion, and you will find the key to healing your soul. – Deepak Chopra
This valuable process allows us to release old patterns, cultivate self-compassion, and build stronger, more authentic connections with ourselves and others. Sometimes in order to unlock profound healing, self-acceptance and personal growth, we have to reverse-engineer our journey by exploring our current behaviours and understanding their root cause.
Even though this is my story, which may or may not be relatable, the point of sharing it is to outline how one thing leads to another and who we are as individuals is defined by our childhood experiences, and it becomes a transformational process to discover who we really are at the soul level.
“As a child, I was terrified of the dark and as daylight faded and bedtime approached, anxiety and fear seemed to consume my personal space. As soon as the day settled into the stillness of the night, I always felt vulnerable and desperately looked to take refuge in the safety of my parent’s room. But each attempt to sneak down the passage was met with a barrage of verbal criticism and opposition. It became evident that I actually had nowhere to go to feel safe! So the belief structure that started to solidify was…
I feel unsafe – I don’t trust those around me – I choose to control
So let’s break this down and understand how the patterning of not feeling safe can become toxic and shift into a controlling personality in order to feel safe.
The Legacy of Childhood:
Our earliest years lay the foundation for how we perceive the world and our place in it. If we experience instability, trauma, or a lack of safety during our formative years, it can create a deep-seated sense of insecurity that continues to influence our lives. This sense of unsafety can manifest as an ever-present feeling of vulnerability as if the world is a hostile and unpredictable place.
The Need for Control:
In response to this feeling of vulnerability, many of us develop control as a coping mechanism. We attempt to control our surroundings, relationships, and even ourselves as a way of creating a semblance of safety and predictability. This control can manifest as perfectionism, rigidity, or the need to micromanage every aspect of our lives.
While it may provide a temporary sense of security, it ultimately stifles our growth and prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life because we become overly cautious and avoid situations that feel uncontrollable.
Transcending Control Through Trust:
The journey of healing begins with the conscious choice to release our grip on control and embrace trust. Trusting the universe, others, and most importantly, ourselves, is an act of surrender. It means acknowledging that not everything is within our power, and that’s okay. Trusting in the unfolding of life’s mysteries has helped me to accept that I cannot predict or plan for every possible outcome, and encouraged me to embrace the uncertainty of life
My inner child is a part of me that carried these wounds from childhood and to start the healing process I had to acknowledge these roots and develop healthier ways of coping. Whenever I feel insecure or overly cautious I remind myself
Insecurity is an illusion; we are all safe and secure in the embrace of the universe.” – Deepak Chopra