The way we communicate and act in situations is based on either conscious responses or unconscious reactions. The difference between the two will either escalate a situation or allow the balance to return. Essentially creating a space allows for choices.
Carers who are able to train themselves to pause, go inward, detach, to step back are able to diffuse blind reactivity. Often it is the lack of presence in a given moment that can blur the boundary between the inner landscape and what is happening externally.
Sadly most of the time, because of our conditioning and inability to filter the information quick enough, we tend to react instinctually, we get defensive and judgemental and our behaviour is unpredictable – not the type of environment that is conducive to forging meaningful relationships…
The more favourable choice, but not easily accessible is when the mind has time to scan for possible outcomes and there is a layer of calm observation. Building that self-reflective capacity, regulating the nervous system and strengthening that muscle within enables a response with a goal in mind. In effect…
A reaction may result in a positive or negative outcome whereas a response is engineered to produce a positive or negative outcome. Reacting is emotional and responding is emotional intelligence
The more consistent carers are the ones who are self-aware (ability to acknowledge the role they played in the situation), can self-regulate (decide how long they intend to be afflicted by the emotion), are aware of what it is they want to achieve (harmony or conflict) and have deep empathy for those in their care.
Ultimately, we need to take accountability for our actions and look to the outcome not get entangled in the momentary spike of adrenaline that activates our fight-trauma response
Carers are faced with a diversity of interactions and most of the time no two days are the same. Adaptability to an ever-changing environment can transform communication through mindful awareness and in so doing nurture the relationships we have with those in our care.
All of this takes conscious effort to keep ourselves out of the matrix and on the path to evolutionary success in our industry