Caught Up with “What Was” and Missing “What Is”

Couples placements are a beautiful reminder of how valuable we are and how important it is to not only physically engage with our clients, but also tend to their emotional needs. More than often this means holding a safe space for meaningful interactions provided, of course, that they are open to dismantling their ‘protective’ fortress and you are open to what lies beyond their ‘sadness’. 

We often step into situations where one partner is ‘running on empty’ and are in desperate need to replenish their stores of mental, emotional and physical energy. Life is passing them by and they have no idea how to press the pause button and let go of the need to plan and control the future – embracing the now is too painful…

Inevitably, the first viable option is to contact someone who can help alleviate the symptoms of depression through medication – sometimes this may be necessary if the root cause cannot be addressed. As carers, we certainly don’t profess to be experts in the field of psychology but common sense tells us that there must be another way around the situation, a safer, longer-lasting ‘prescription’ that can be self-directed and more beneficial.

In our position, we are able to see what others may not – to guide, highlight and ease their attention back to being in alignment with their true nature. At times where they may have become blind to life, we have the privilege of taking them on a new adventure and open up a world where happiness can once again take centre stage.

One of the greatest errors of human nature is the complacency that comes with familiarity and in a world of distraction, it is easy to let life’s treasures pass by unnoticed. I believe as ‘outsiders’ we have the opportunity to steer conversations that can raise vibrations, clear negative energy and start the process of healing through appreciation.

The biggest tragedy that lies in taking things (or people) in life for granted is that we usually become aware of what we had only once it’s gone. How often do we skip over life’s most precious moments only to lament over them later? 

We awaken every morning with our lungs filled with fresh, clean air, a functioning body and an opportunity to live another day, but as we have done it so many times before, we assume it will happen again. So much so that over time, waking up loses its novelty, and instead of feeling like a miracle, it becomes a chore. 

I believe that the service we offer extends beyond the physical and an essential component of our work is to alleviate the anguish associated with the mental chatter of day to day living that pulls them away from the beauty that lies in the present. We can help them reconnect with gratitude and receive life as it is – to be reminded that the things we take for granted, someone else is praying for…

“When you are fully present in your life, you never miss a sunset because you are too busy because the colours stop you in your tracks. When you are present in your life, your beautiful body becomes an incredible gift beyond your wildest dreams, and your beloved becomes more and more amazing as each moment passes. Because when you are present, you see the truth: Life is short, fleeting and impermanent. You will never be as young as you are today. There will never be another moment just like this one. Ever.”

It is always hard when couples are caught up in ‘what was’ and cannot come to terms with ‘what is’ and we can play a crucial role in helping them to reassess their judgement, and to consider that perhaps their life is amazing and maybe they have just been missing it!